One Step To Becoming A Man
by tivaobsession
Summary: Tony needs to talk to Ziva. Set post season 8, no E.J. or Ray. What will Tony say to her?
1. Chapter 1

_**Alright. Here is my new story. Thanks to my friend Sean for the wonderful idea on how to write this. I got some inspiration from "How to Save a Life" by the Fray. *dances around singing* I own nothing! **_

"We need to talk." Tony finished typing his text message and sent it as he walked the streets of downtown D.C. alone late at night. Tony managed to walk all the way to the street with the usual coffee shop the team would go to during work. It was a ten minute walk but it gave Tony just enough time to clear his head and think of what he was going to say. He arrived at the corner where the shop was closed and dark, except for the glowing sign hanging out front, and turned to see Ziva standing outside by the door. He was glad that she was there. She had on a pair of jeans, a plain tee shirt, and flip flops. Her hair was also down in curls like Tony preferred.

"Let's go for a walk." Tony suggested. Ziva stared politely back at him and he stared right on through to her before heading on the walk. He returned to the path that he had just come from and Ziva trailed behind him.

"What is it Tony? It's 9:20 and we have work tomorrow." Ziva's voice sounded tired as she looked at her phone screen for the time.

"Don't worry. It's just a quick one." Tony joined Ziva by her side and there was silence. They continued to walk the empty streets together.

"So-" Ziva broke the silence.

"Oh. Yeah" Tony remembered what he was going to say. "E.J. is gone now." Tony reminded Ziva as she rolled her eyes.

"_You have me here to discuss her?"_ Ziva thought to herself.

"I know." Ziva replied staring at the ground.

"So-" Tony was going to continue but he didn't want to bring up any more of the bittersweet subject at this time. "How's your friend? C.I. Ray?" Tony asked with an unpleasant tone trying to make simple conversation.

"He is-" Ziva's voice trailed off. "Actually I am not sure. After he left for his mission that he did not even inform me about, I haven't heard from him. And truthfully, it's upsetting considering the circumstances." Ziva was quiet. Tony looked at Ziva and she quickly darted her eyes away from him.

"Oh. I'm sorry." Tony said trying to care.

"I have not been the same since, Tony. He hurt me. I wanted something permanent, but instead he leaves me and I am left wondering where he is and what he is doing. It's like having a piece of me gone." Tony swallowed hard at her words. It felt like he was punched in the gut.

"_Was Ziva really saying that she had cared for him?"_ Tony wondered.

"I'm sorry Zee." Tony's tone meant that he really meant it this time. Maybe she liked Ray, but Tony didn't. But he would have to accept this reality. He especially didn't like Ray because he hurt Ziva like this. Ray was just another one of her mistakes.

"Well you know," Tony paused and looked into Ziva's chocolate eyes. "I'm always going to be here for you, no matter what." Tony looked in her eyes and somewhere deep down she was an emotional wreck.

"I know you will be." Ziva stopped and Tony did the same. Ziva looked back into Tony's emerald eyes and found comfort. Her hand quickly, and gently caressed the side of his face.

"You've always been there for me." Ziva whispered before heading down the street, Tony remained still standing in the same spot. Ziva turned around and looked at him.

"I guess I will see you at work tomorrow." Ziva said before walking off. She didn't look but she knew he was staring at her watching her walk away.

"Yeah. Tomorrow." Tony said quietly. He may have another chance at this if he tried again tomorrow. Tony went the opposite way of Ziva and walked back home to his apartment for the night regretting some of his choices in words.

**The End.**

**Okay that's the end. Another chapter to come soon I think. Now that you read it, review please my dears! Thanks for reading! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is the second chapter. Not much to say here besides thanks for the reviews! I need ideas for the third chapter. My muse is dead during the day. Enjoy!**

Tony took the elevator up the couple floors from his car parked in the garage and during that time, he thought long and hard. He thought about Ziva, he thought about Ziva, he thought about Ray, and then he had the thought of both of them together. That sent shivers up his spine and an unpleasant picture in his mind that made him want to gag. He cleared that thought with a self Gibbs slap and kept on thinking. He tried to come up with things to say to Ziva about everything they said last night. The elevator dinged and the doors opened to the squadroom. Tony sight and stepped out.

He looked to the squadroom and team mates to see Ziva standing at his desk. She was wearing a blue short- sleeve blouse and a pair of tight jeans. She had her hair down too. Tony's heart began to pound in his chest. His legs felt like jello. Ziva looked gorgeous. Tony walked into the squadroom nervous as anything.

"Good morning!" Tony said as he put his stuff behind his desk.

"Hello." Ziva replied moving to the front of his desk.

"How are you McGoo?" Tony asked sitting down in his chair.

"Fine, thanks for asking." McGee replied looking back down at his computer.

"Ray called." Ziva whispered before walking over to her desk and sitting down. Tony thought for a moment. Ziva didn't look upset, or did she? She was good had hiding emotions; maybe that's what she was doing right now. Tony tapped his pen on his chin and smirked. His computer beeped. Tony looked at his screen, his IM came up and started blinking.

"_You do realize I don't know what to do now, right?" _Ziva's sky blue font read across his screen. Tony tapped his fingers on his keyboard before replying.

"_Zee, you always know what to do, why don't you want to see him?" _Tony's red font read on Ziva's screen. She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"_No I don't Tony. I didn't say I didn't want to see him-" _Ziva typed and sent the message to Tony. Tony's stomach knotted up as he read her words.

"_So you'd still see him? Give him another chance? Is that what you really want Ziva?" _ Tony typed and reclined back in his chair. His computer beeped, indicating a new message.

"_This is why I needed to talk to you, I do not know anymore Tony, I don't" _ Ziva typed and sighed as she pressed the 'enter' button. Tony read her message and sighed too.

"_So what do you want me to do Ziva?" _ Tony replied. He anxiously stared as his screen.

" _I want to talk to you alone again, sometime soon would be nice Tony." _ Ziva replied trying to fight back some tears, she succeeded at that.

"_Well there is the elevator, or the men's room-" _ Tony offered Ziva. Ziva looked up at him and back down at her screen.

"_How about men's room, it's easier to talk in there, when?" _ Ziva asked, biting her lip.

"_Well we have until nine, that's when boss is getting in, how about in ten minutes?" _ Tony asked Ziva hoping she would say yes and then he can finally speak from his heart to her directly, alone, no pressure.

"_That would be nice. Yes, ten minutes." _ Ziva replied shutting off her IM. She had to come up with things to talk to Tony about when they would be alone. She didn't want to make a fool out of herself, not around him anyway.

Tony sat up in his chair and smiled a little. He would be able to speak his mind, find out what was really going on, and then maybe he could make things right again. Maybe. He wasn't sure. All Tony was hoping was that he wouldn't chicken out and not meet her there, or worse, not say anything when they met up because it was just too awkward to talk. McGee looked up from his computer.

"What's up with you guys? You aren't talking." McGee broke the almost awkward silence.

"Not much to say." Tony said. '_Yet' _Tony thought_. _

**Thanks for reading! Drop a review here for me would you please. Hope you enjoyed it!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here it is. Chapter three. Hope it's alright. Read and review! **

Ten long minutes on the clock had passed. Every minute seemed longer than the last. Tony was in his seat tapping his pen over and over again to try to calm himself. His heart was pounding but he couldn't figure out why he was so nervous. After all, it was Ziva, and it's not like they haven't had a heart to heart talk before. Tony still couldn't figure out what he kept worrying about.

"_It's nothing."_ He told himself over and over. Tony sighed and tried to occupy his time with paper work. That didn't do anything either. Every now and then Tony would look up from his desk and his eyes would make contact with Ziva's. Both of them would quickly pull away and their stomach did flops.

"_It's just Tony." _ Ziva told herself. She worked on her computer to calm her nerves as well and she couldn't help think what she and Tony might talk about. She played out different scenarios in her head, all of which didn't end so well. This wasn't helping. Ziva looked at the clock on her computer screen and sighed.

"_Another 60 seconds."_ Ziva thought. She counted every passing second, which seemed like forever. When the clock reached nine o' clock sharp Tony shot up from his desk. Ziva placed her hand on her head,

"_Could he make it any more obvious?"_ Ziva asked as her heart began to race. McGee looked up from his desk.

"You okay Tony?" McGee looked puzzled as Tony was walking out of the squadroom. McGee looked at Ziva and she shrugged.

"Never better , McGee." Tony shouted as he walked to the men's room. He pushed open the door and walked inside. Tony sighed and looked around to make sure no one else was in there with him.

**Meanwhile- **

Ziva casually got up from her seat and pushed in her chair almost silently. McGee didn't even bother looking up from his computer as Ziva snuck out of the squadroom and to the hallway by the '_Most Wanted_' pictures and the bathrooms. Ziva tapped lightly on the door and it gently swung open. Ziva stepped inside and locked the door behind her. There Tony was, standing up against the wall with the mirror behind him showing Ziva's face, full of emotion.

"Well-" Ziva said quietly. "I am here." Ziva leaned up against the wall by the counter.

"I can see that." Tony replied going to lean up against the opposite wall from Ziva.

"Where should I start Tony?" Ziva's voice echoed throughout the bathroom. Tony looked at Ziva and then to her reflection in the mirror.

"Maybe I should start and tell you that I don't know what I want anymore, or maybe the fact that I might be getting married to man that is not willing to commit, or how about the man who is supposed to be the closest to me isn't giving me the help that I need, the comfort?" Ziva's voice cracked. Tony was hurt by her words.

"_She's accusing me of not being there for her? She pushed me away."_ Tony thought and had to resist from rolling his eyes. Ziva was crumbling apart right in front of him, and he did want to help, but lately, with everything else that had been going on it was hard to stay so close to her like they had used to be.

"I tried Zee, I really did." Tony said in a hushed tone trying to comfort her. Ziva almost laughed right in his face.

"_You weren't there for me because you were with __**her**__."_ Ziva thought and sighed.

"I know you tried Tony, you had E.J. though, and for the time, I had Ray. But now that E.J. is gone and Ray had left and it was just you and me, well- that was nice." Ziva stopped herself and looked up at the ceiling to prevent the tears from falling. She started to pace the floor.

"And now that he is coming back" Ziva's voice cracked again and it sounded as if she was going to cry. "I do not know what to do, or what I want anymore Tony." Ziva looked down and gravity brought down her first tear. She quickly wiped it away and turned her head so she didn't reveal this tender side of her to Tony.

"Oh Ziva." Tony whispered. He wanted to go over there and put her in his arms and tell her everything would be okay, and that he would be there for her, but he couldn't. She needed to figure this out on her own. She needed to get rid of him without his help, when she was ready.

"Ziva. You need to do what you think is best. If that means running off with him, then so be it, but if it's staying here, and getting rid of him, and-" Tony tried to think of some other things to say.

"_You'll have me." _Tony wanted to say those words so bad, more than anything.

"The rest of us will always be there for you when you fall. All of us will catch you. We all care about you Ziva, we really do." Tony finished.

"_I should have said 'me' instead of 'we' and 'us'."_ Tony regretted inside of him. Ziva turned and looked at Tony. Her face was red and flushed and tears were streaming down her face. She had been silently crying out everything. All of the stress was reliving its self too.

"You are telling me that I need to make this decision by myself?" Ziva asked sobbing. Tony nodded and Ziva jerked her head up to prevent crying again in front of Tony.

"Ziva, sometimes it's better to cry instead of keeping it inside. Go ahead, cry it all out. I'm here." Tony whispered gingerly and walked over to Ziva. At first she resisted and then she carefully placed her head on Tony's shirt. She kept quietly crying in his arms until it was all out. Ziva looked up at Tony.

"So what are you going to do?" Tony asked Ziva looking back down at her.

"I am still not sure what I want." Ziva replied and sighed in his arms. Tony let go and went to get a paper towel and wet it under the faucet. He handed it to her.

"Wash your face and let's go back out there." Tony said standing up against the wall. Ziva looked confused.

"We can talk about the rest later, yes?" Ziva asked washing her face over the sink until she was no longer flushed.

"Sure thing." Tony replied getting a dry paper towel for Ziva to dry her face with.

"Tonight? My place?" Ziva asked drying her face.

"Okay. Is ten okay?" Tony asked grabbing the door and having Ziva walk out first.

"Perfect." Ziva said entering the squadroom.

"What took you guys so long?" McGee asked. Tony looked at Ziva as Gibbs came into the squadroom drinking his coffee.

"Gear up. Dead marine!"

**Okay. That's the end of that chapter. I think there will be one more. I apologize, most of the conversation kind of stunk. It sounded like it was repeating. My muse isn't so great right now. Reviews are awesome and I'll get working on the other chapter!**


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